I faced the unknown and had fun with it

A few weeks after my divorce, I signed up for an improv class to do something on the day my son was at his dad's, and my home got awfully quiet. I just wanted to do something fun and got so much more out of it! I learned to respond instead of reacting, listen instead of thinking about what to say next and be open instead of limiting my mind out of fear.

It takes a lot of practice to stay in the present moment. I've read books, gone to communication workshops and retreats, learned to apply different techniques to clear my head and be in the NOW,

but there was another surprisingly fun way to achieve the same.

I smile as I write this, remembering how much fun I had doing improv. Yes. It was IMPROV that did the trick. It helped me through one of the most challenging periods of my life. It's a safe place where you can be yourself, and nobody judges you; where you must listen openly; otherwise, it doesn't work, and not knowing what happens next is what makes it exciting. Where you can't be "wrong," and no matter how scary it is, you must go on stage and not mind if you become ridiculous.

I laughed at myself

The class always started with some warm-up exercises to connect, loosen up, focus, and laugh. In this game, we secretly chose a villain to run away from and a protector to be next to. We started walking around, trying to be next to our protector and be as far as we could from our villain. We sped up and rushed faster and faster until there we were: a prosecutor, a stand-up comedian, a photographer, a software engineer, an electrical engineer, and me, a writer running around like crazy ants. I was chasing my protector, but no matter how hard I tried to reach him, he managed to move away at the last moment. I didn't give up. I wanted to trick him and get close to the person he was chasing. No help. He wouldn't come closer.

I started giggling and then cracked up and laughed so hard that tears ran down my cheeks.

I couldn't help but notice the irony of the situation: a 39-year-old recently divorced single mother was chasing a young guy who didn't know how to get away from her. Apparently, I chose a protector who picked me to be his villain.

I accepted my limitations

English is not my first language, and while I came a long way from struggling during a high school English exam, it frustrated me from time to time that I felt my vocabulary was limited.

In one of the scenes, we had to improvise a home renovation, and my peer wanted to use periwinkle on the wall. And I had no idea what she meant.

The beauty of improv lies in accepting what "is" and moving with the flow. No matter what your partner says or does, you must go with it and act like it's the most natural thing.

So, I gave a meaning to the word "periwinkle," which had nothing to do with color, leading to one of the funniest scenes we ever came up with. Because in the end, neither my partner nor I knew what the other one was talking about, and we came across as a pretentious nouveau riche and an incompetent interior designer. Our classmates found it hilarious.

I faced the unknown

Our graduation was a 20-minute-long show in front of a live audience. The rule was: Everyone must start a scene from scratch, and by the end of the scene, all the team members must be on stage, adding a character to the improvisation. The show started. Two of my classmates began a dialogue, and four of us waited behind the curtain for the right moment to enter. A few minutes in, I got an idea and wanted to move, but I suddenly questioned whether it was good enough for a live show, and someone else grabbed the opportunity. The next time two of us moved at the same time, and I let my classmate go. I was sure his idea was funnier than mine.

I watched my classmates step out into the spotlight one by one. I realized I was the last one, I barely heard what was going on stage from all the laughter, and my brain went blank. I panicked. "I must go in no matter what," I pushed myself.

I took a deep breath and walked out with a serious facial expression. I stopped next to my classmates, crossed my arms without saying a word, and scanned each of them. How could I say anything? I had no idea what was going on! I waited and nodded. From their reaction, I sensed that I could be a "new boss" or an "investigator," so I acted like that. I was saying only a few words staying a mysterious character.

I will never forget the feeling of standing in the spotlight, clueless yet knowing deep inside I would figure it out. I just had to remind myself there is no right or wrong choice. It was the safest and the most joyful way to build self-confidence and trust.

Did you know it's scientifically proven that Improv experience promotes divergent thinking, uncertainty tolerance, and affective well-being? Read the related 2020 study HERE.

Have you tried improv? What helps you to stay in the present? Leave a comment!